Why Are We So Busy? What Is Your Reason/Excuse?

I used to work insanely hard because I thought I had to in order to survive economically. Years later, I realized that work was just an excuse and a distraction so I would not have time to see or feel what was going on in my life, even though it seemed pretty good at the time.

A few years ago on vacation I became aware of this issue. I started noticing (or maybe the woman I was in a relationship with noticed) I was having a bit of a difficult time relaxing on the beach of a beautiful lake.

(c) Ashley K Collingwood

 
 
 
 
 

I was surprised and disagreed with her at first until I finally noticed she was right. It used to be so easy for me to stop and rest. I thought that because I had learned to be a better person and learned all these great skills and tools, that I was able to relax and let go again but then I found that was not the case.

Now that I theoretically have more time and do not have to show up at a regular job, is it is REALLY difficult to stop and sit at the beach, or by a beautiful lake … something I used to LOVE to do and really cherished. I recently realized that earlier in my life I was always so exhausted from working 12 to 18 hours days that when I stopped it was easy to relax, I was just too tired to do anything else.  Now it is almost uncomfortable to stop and relax, now that I can chose to work or not. But why?

Right this moment I am sitting by a stunning lake that I love and part of me is having a hard time relaxing. I feel like I should go home and get things done (which a lot of I can do here if I chose to).

So what makes me uncomfortable sitting here?

My life is really good right now, maybe even close to fabulous. All the skills, tools, techniques, practices and awareness I have gained have given me the ability to create a life that is so much better than before, yet I am feeling uncomfortable still.

What it is and why do so many of us keep busy? Is it so that we don’t stop and feel what is not working in our lives? Or we are uncomfortable with some part of our life?

I am feeling a little guilty that I get to be here while other people don’t. I feel guilty that I don’t have to show up at a 40 hour per week job even though I spent most of 30+ years working 12 to 18 hour days. I did a lot of work to be able to let it be okay to come to this favorite spot, yet there still seems to be a bit of a charge (some kind of energy that affects me and/or you when you have something that is making you feel good or bad) and in this case it is an uncomfortable charge. I am mostly okay with being here, yet there is still the discomfort, a little charge that makes me want to leave and go home.

I guess I have a bit more work to do on why I feel this way and to look at whybig_smile.jpg else I am a bit uncomfortable with being here. It is such an odd feeling for me to be uncomfortable in a place I have been coming to since I was a kid, since I have so many (boatloads) of good and great experiences here.

It just shows what complicated beings we humans are and how important it is to pay attention to why and how we feel about things. Then we look for ways to release the energy charges that cause us pain. Life is so much better when we spend less time suffering and more time smiling.

 

 

 

 

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